I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize