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I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
