Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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