i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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