when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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