I just saw a hot homeless man
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
