Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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