I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
