Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
