this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
