college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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