I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
