I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
