i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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