You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
