Got a toothbrush?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
