Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
