apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
