i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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