Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
