I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize