super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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