why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
