obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize