hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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