just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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