so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
