ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
