he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
