So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
