Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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