I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
