she was so not down for the gang bang
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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