I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
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