you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize