She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
