i need an iv and a liver transplant
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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