his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
