I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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