brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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