Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
