u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i drank out of a bidet.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
