Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
