i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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