what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
