U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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