My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
