It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
