While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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