Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
