That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
