wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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