Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
