SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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