I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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