I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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