i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize