so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
